Boxing Day

For the past 11 years my husband and I have celebrated our Christmas together the day after. It was just easier since I have so much family and never have a free moment on Christmas. This will be the last year we do a big Christmas the day after as Ethan is to young to know right now but next year he will understand 'when' Christmas is. So we are so excited today, because we get to enjoy our first 'Santa' visit with Ethan. Although, we went small this year because he is so young, we still can't wait to just share the idea of Santa with him.

Hope all of you are having a Merry holiday season!

Merry Christmas Adam

Wow after almost losing my mind yesterday panicking over what I still had to get done, I have managed to accomplish A LOT! I still need to wrap gifts (which I love so that is fun), finish the mini albums for gifts, pick up pics from one hour photo for mini albums (luckily I made each one basic and the same thing!), clean my house and enjoy every second with my son.

Back to the wrapping gifts thing...I should have known years ago that I should start scrapbooking. I am such a FREAK when it comes to wrapping. I love it, it must be tight and straight and have perfect creases. How anal is that???!!!??? This year I am using these wonderful tags that I got from a swap this year. I am so excited to use them for my family and friends.

DID I TELL YOU ABOUT MY NANO???????? I found out months ago that my husband's Christmas party was going to raffle off ipod Nanos. Well being the mac freak that I am and dreaming of having a nano, I have been joking for weeks that I was gonna win one. Well last Sunday was the party and they did a chinese auction type thing with a bunch of prizes and I mean a bunch (Kitchen Aid mixer, Calphalon set, PSP, $100 gift certificates, digital camera and printer set). Well my husband was the last name to be picked so guess what I got???!!!?? I know you can't guess, A NANO! I am listening to it right now and loving every second! What a treat for my Christmas and you know it already has pics of my little one on it LOL

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Our first family Christmas

I didn't realize how freaking excited I was about Christmas this year and how many things I was avoiding about it. Still suffering the residuals of my post partum I find myself avoiding anything that makes me feel pressured. I haven't wrapped any gifts and I haven't even done half of my shopping yet. Yep that is right 2 shopping days left and I am not even half done. Talk about avoiding pressure my arse! Imagine me tomorrow shopping HAHAHAHA I am going to have a panic attack.

So we took Ethan to Mickey's Very Merry Christmas party a few weeks back. Well they give you a complimentary pic when you get there. So of course those things never come out good right? WRONG! I love this pic of us, we look so happy and we truly are. Stress, anxiety, screwed up family, depression...doesn't take one tiny bit away from how lucky and happy we are to have had the past year. No matter what we have our son, can you believe it A SON!!! I finally have a baby to spend Christmas with, not just a baby but my son. Something I dreamt of for years and just never thought...Thank you to all those that made it possible both in this world and others :)

2005 Reflection

Where to begin...This year started out with me being told my Father was going to die, 2 days before my due date with Ethan (Jan 16th). Then my year became amazing when on January 20th, at 2:37pm the baby I had been carrying for 10 months and 4 days was born and we finally found out that it was a BOY!!!! That was all before the end of January.

My year has definitely been the most amazing and special year ever because of the blessing of Ethan. So anything I say that might make it sound less special than that is by far just the typing!

Once January started to become February we noticed that something was just not right with me. Those of you who know me or have read previous blogs know what I am talking about. Still 11 months later I am still struggling with post partum (PP). I am finally sleeping more than 1 or 2 hours a night though so that is WONDERFUL!

The middle to end of the year had us deciding we were going to build a house close to my parents so we needed to move and sell our house. So back to the PP, moving was not a good thing to do. I did not manage well at all but I did it and I am still trying to get it together.

Thanksgiving saw a huge breakup of my family due to my sister. I don't even want to go into to much detail since it still peeves me but needless to say she is back trying to get in our good graces. I can tell you she is on very thin ice.

Within all this mayhem were some of the most amazing and special moments for both Jason and I. Ethan's firsts: pictures, word (yeah), sitting up, Mother's Day, Father's Day, 4th of July, crawling, clapping, waving, giving five, mocking, saying Dada, kisses, trying to walk, wanting his Mommy even when Grandma was holding him.

It brings tears to my eyes writing this not because of the bad things but because of how blessed Jason and I are. We are so thankful and so happy to have had everything this year.

long time no blog

So one of my new resolutions is to use this blog! Use it to say everything that I don't say outloud to maybe help me not hurt people.

For instance, why does my husband have to call me every 5 min? I know he misses me and that is great but it is so annoying! I don't want to say anything because then he won't call at all but geez give me some space!

Anyway...I am hoping that by the end of January i will be back to normal. NO more meds, no more anxiety and I can officially be a Mommy minus the PP.

January 1 is also the start date for my own business. I have talked with my cousin and we are finally gonna finish the web site. Ambiance Event Planning here we come!

So in a nut shell here are my resolutions (which I am not going to number cause there are a lot):

-blog more
-50 layouts
-Christmas Fund
-Chores on a weekly schedule
-Work time
-Regular playdates for Ethan
-Walk with Ethan more
-Send cards each month as I used to do
-Stay on budget

I am sure I will add more as I go along...we will see how successful I am at following them.

My Menagerie

We have way to many animals! We have two dogs, Socrates, a black standard poodle, and Percious, a yorkie-poo. We also have two cats, an orange tabby cat, Bubby and a black siamese, Tabitha. All the animals but Tabitha were inside animals. Now that we have moved though, they are all about to be outside animals. It is going to be a big change but a necessary one. I will at first be sooo heartbroken not to have my animals sleeping with me and/or around me but with a little one that is about to walk and many friends with allergies, it is just the best decision. The new place has a huge fenced in back yard so the dogs will be really happy. As for the cats it is a huge front, side and back yard for them to explore. I am nervous about Bubby being outside for the first time but I am sure he will do fine and love it. Keep your fingers crossed.

Sort of creepy but REALLY, REALLY good news...

So when I was younger (about 7-13) I was molested by a man that was considered to be a "son" of my grandparents. Well when I was 16 I finally told my Mom about it and turned into a mess. No one ever went to the police or asked him to stop coming around the family or anything like that. So it just sort of got pushed under the rug by my family and left alone. So all these years (I am going to be 29 next month) I have seen this man frequently and he still talks to me as if nothing ever happened. I HATE HIM and I had never told another soul until my hubby. Matter of fact I just told my brother last month because he asked why I hated this man so much.

So the point to this revelation....today I went to my parents and what does my brother say but talk to Mom she has some good news. So I go running to my Mom what, what, what is the good news????? She says guess who was arrested for lude and lacivous acts on a minor...it was him!!!!! He was caught and I finally feel a part of me that has felt unsafe all these years relax!!!

Ok so I know before some of you freak out cause I did too, why didn't they do something, they could have prevented it from happening etc. I honestly don't know I never asked until tonight and she said it was because they didn't want to put me through that. Do I believe it, no not really. Do i think that I forever had issues because they didn't do anything and becuase I felt as though they didn't believe me, YES!

But I am still relieved in my own way. I can finally feel justified and finally feel a bit safe, if that makes sense.

Sorry I am rambling but I am just so relieved in so many ways.

I can't take another thing...

Ok well I probably could but please don't give me another one. This move is going to kill me or make me bald and I am leaning towards the killing since I have texas big hair today.

So the air is still broke in the new place, there is trash every where and it looks like such a dump. BUT it is bigger than were we are now and it is just temporary while we build the other house. I am so greatfull to have this place to go to so we can sell this house now.

As for this house...it isn't even 1/2 packed and I just can't get it started to where it seems like I even make a dent in it. I am sooooo overwhelmed it isn't funny. I don't know where to start. I am going to sit down right now and make a list of how to get things done! Please let it happen that easily.

Trailer Trash here I come...

Well at the last minute we are moving out of our house. We thought we had time to sell it but it was so hard to find somewhere to put our stuff that didn't cost a pretty penny. So we found a new place which means moving so this one can be sold pronto! So the next few days are going to be hell!!!

I am working like mad to get ahead on my swaps so I can send them out and not worry for at least a week but ahhhhhh

the illness has ended

Wow back to back I have been sick and it has been so draining. I haven't been able to do anything but sleep. Thank God for my parents otherwise I would never have the chance to recover. Their help with Ethan is priceless.

So I am now stressing because I am behind on like 5 swaps AGHHHHH! I finished one last night and have three to mail today. I should finish another two today and then sort of be caught up. By Monday I should be back on track.

I busted my butt yesterday trying to get caught up again on packing this house and getting it ready to show. I finished the kitched except for sweeping and mopping as that is J's job. Today I plan to stack the boxes and call about storage spaces. I also plan to clean up my make-shift craft table, aka the dining room table.

Off to a fun day!

I SLEPT!!!

ok so it was only for 4 hours but it was before 5 am and it was good! Oh remember the days when you were young and you thought staying up all night was fun? What the hell was I thinking? I was asleep around 3:45 and didn't wake up until around 8:30 am when Ethan woke up. I could have even gone back to sleep but of course this is the morning where my little sunshine wants to play and poop first thing in the morning. Any other day he will go back to sleep till 9:30-10. But that is ok cause he is soooo cute I can't resist him.

Today Ethan and I are having lunch with friends that I haven't seen since E was about 2 mos old. A consequence of PP, not seeing them that is. Just couldn't visit then or their little girl. Luckily they seem to be pretty understanding and happy that I am getting back to normal. Nice when people miss you, although it is so rare for me LOL!

Busy day

Ethan and I had sooo much fun today. Although Ethan went back to bed this morning till 10 Mommy stayed up and did some packing and emailing. Then we went to a play group with other Mommies and babies and we had a BLAST!! For a child that is usually the life of the party, Ethan was so quiet and just took all the other babies in. He did swipe a few toys LOL but mostly just watched everyone. Then as if that wasn't enough we went to another play group but this one was a class about sign language for babies at a play center. We had so much fun he fell asleep right there in my arms with all the babies and other children playing and screaming.

I am so proud of myself. I not only got up early but also did some housework and still managed to take Ethan out for some fun. I am so happy tonight I feel like I am floating. Today was a huge day for me in accomplishing the road back to the real Amy. For the first time in a long time I am looking forward to tomorrow.

On another note, I am a die-hard believer in teaching babies to sign. Ethan has been able to sign milk since he was 5 months and let me just try to explain the frustration it has saved us. He now uses the same sign for eat in general and it makes it so easy to know what he wants to make him happy. I honestly believe that the reason he is always happy is because I am able to understand him through his signs and cries. He is the most content and independent child I know but not with a nasty attitude (then it would have been me LOL). I think that any that interacts with an infant should know the basic signs to not only teach them but also to be able to understand the children that already know the signs. Check out www.signwithme.com.

I need sleep

I am still having trouble sleeping. Ethan is such a good boy and goes to sleep by 9:40 and sleeps till around 8am. But the Mom, can't sleep at all. At 6am this morning I was still awake! I will be so happy when this part ends. Luckily Jason came home early from work and watched Ethan at around 11am so I could sleep till 12:30.

I am meeting Janelle and her son to exercise today. This is a huge thing since I am going out without anyone forcing me!!! I am very excited and looking forward to having some interaction with another Mom.

Ethan started crawling yesterday. I can't believe he is that big already!

A new start

The past several months I have been dealing with post partum. I am now feeling as if a new begining is happening for me and what a better way to start than with a blog! So that everyone can read all about my dirty laundry. Eventually this will contain my scrapbooking accomplishments daily, some pics and I am sure it will include moments of when I think my hubby is a dork but otherwise he is perfect.